Dynasty Warriors Legends
by Lu Bu the Annihilator
Summary: This is my first story it might not be that good but still im trying. it contains all the Dynasty warriors in it. plz comment on it as i go. This story is a story about all the different Dynasty warriors and is based on the story of the three kingdoms.


**Emperors Palace**:

In the largest land in all of China there was a fat, fugly, hateful bastard who had short black spiky hair and really fancy black and golden armor. He could barely walk because of his obesity and He had to be carried by his solders who were suffering by even being around him. He killed them for fun and ate their fat. This cruel bastard was named Dong Zuo.

One day Dong Zuo decided he needed a son (because he killed all the women during sex) so he commanded his men to carry him to his carriage to the adoption agency. When he was in the carriage it was almost touching the ground were he was sitting.

"DRIVE FASTER YOU UGLY TURDMUNCHER WHATS WRONG WITH YOU!!"

"S...Sssory master Zuo the carriage isn't able to go any faster." A servant stammered.

"You do know that I can arrange you to be execute so don't test my patience NOW MAKE THIS CARRRAIGE GO FASTER!!"

"Yy...Yes master Zuo."

"Were there master Zuo."

"TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH EXECUTE HIM MEN."

"Nnnoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ahhhhhhh."

"MWahahahhahhahahhahahhahahhahhahhhahahhahaha that was amusing solders Carrie me inside."

**Adoption Centre**

"PUT ME DOWN YOU IMBERSILE I CAN STILL WALK A TINY BIT."  
"yes sir."

"Ahhhh I want that one the one who is stabbing that nerdy kid and kicking the little Goth he's just like me he will be my little monster mwhahhahahhahah."

"Sir are you positive you want that little shit he is feral and we were going to put him down tomorrow?" The adoption centre manager asked.

"YESSSSSSSSSS NOW!! give him to me or ill have you exiled from my land."

"Okay."

"Little boy what is your name."

"I don't have one and you're a ugly fat old man id rather be dead than be your adopter son."

"YOU need discipline boy and I will make you a warrior also this means you will be tortured to become stronger."

"I can take anything I mean what possible harm could an old fart like you do to me."

"MWAAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAhA I am high emperor Dong Zuo and ill Name you Lu Bu and you shall be feared throughout the land. so let us go SLAVE Carrie us both."

"Yes sir."

"Ill walk."

**Jian's Boat**

In a large red boat with a tiger painting on the side of it was a man who was thin, medium height and wore tiger skin and armor as clothes. This man had two sons one named Ce and the other one named Quan and a daughter named Shang Xiang. His wife was brutally murdered 3 months ago. This man was named Sun Jian.

One night when Jian was walking to bed he heard talking in Ce's room so he kicked the door down and ran in looking like he was going to explode with anger. His son Ce and Ce's friend Yu (who was extremely gay) were doing their homework. Jian ripped it into tiny pieces and light the tiny pieces on fire. "YU GET OUT OF MY BOATHOUSE AND GO HOME"

"Sorry I can't I'm staying with you guys forever mum and dad kicked me out for being gay"

"FUCK OFF YOU DON'T HAVE PERMISSION TO LIVE HERE"

"Ce said I could hahahahha so im living with you now"

"CE ILL KILLL YOU" Jian screamed as his whole body was vibrating with rage.

At that same moment a cannon's bullet hit their ship. The whole boat was rocking. "You two get Quan and meet me on the top of the ship now" Jian ordered. "Okay dad but what bout you and Shang Xiang?"

"I'm going to get her, now go"

"See you later dad."

When they met on top of the boat they saw thousands of golden boats shooting cannons at them (most missed though) the leading boat was huge and had a painting of Yuan Tan on the side of it.

He was leading the army of 50 golden boats.

**Yuan's Forces **

"We shall win this battle with ease now attack don't kill them capture them and then you shall rape them" Yuan Tan commanded then he closed his eyes with joy of his army outnumbering them. He opened them and became shocked to see his army annihilated. He only had his own boat and another boat with his leading fighter general in it he was named Huang Gai. "SURRENDER OR DIE YUAN SCUM" Jian shouted. Yuan Tan then blasted Huang Gai's boat down to distract Sun Jian while he fled.

**Jian's boat**

"Once again we win" Jian stated. Then they drove their boat to pick up Huang Gai and force him to join their crew and he gratefully joined with happiness to be free from Shao's army.


End file.
